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Haryanvi SMS, Haryanvi Jokes


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Waiter: Ur Bill Sir.
.
.
Raldu: Take My Card.
.
... .
Waiter: But Sir, This Is Ration Card.
.
.
Raldu: To Phir Bahar Kya Majaak Me Likha hai..
.
.
All Cards are Ac

cepted." 


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Ek be ek gaam main ek baniya tha....apne app ne ghana ee shyana samjha karda...ek be baniye ka dilli te
bulawa aa gaya...usne sochi kee sabte sasta jugaad ke se dilli jaan ka...kai din sochta raha..us ke kuch
samajh na aayi...pher ek tau te poochi usne...ke tau...aade te dilli koi cheez bhejni ho to sabte sastsa
tareeka ke se...tau bola...re dedh...taine itna bhi nahi bera..sabse sasta tareeka hai...by post bhejne
ka...bus jo cheez behji ho uspe stamp ticket la de...aur post box main ghaal de...postmaster uspe stamp
laavega aur uspe jo pata likha se ode bhej dega....baniye khush ho gaya sun kar...usne apni pant ke
paache dilli ka pata likh diya aur ek stamp ticket laa di...aur ja ke post box main mooh ghaal ke khada ho
gaya...post master aaya saanjh ne chiiti katthi karan..usne dekha ke yo ke...ek aadmi post box main mooh
deye khada se..uske chho aa gaya..usne kaad kee apni chaam kee keelan aali jooti...aur oodey ee mand
gaya us baniye ke picchvade pe jooti maran....kai der ho li....jab baniye ke 100-200 jooti laag lee to baniya
bola andar te....Re Post master bus kar...aur kitni stamp laavega?. 


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Ek be Tau ek competion main chala gaya ar ude ghane e bade bade shayar aa rahe thee. Jab sab ne
suna liya te tau ka bhi no aaya to tau ne be apni taan ched de

main usstey ghana pyar karya karta.... par wa mera dil sa tod giiiiiii...,
isaa lagya jannu jethh ke mhiney main, mhais dhaar dena chhod gi

Humney kise tay pyar konya, kyoonki mahare tay kise nay pyar konya....
hum to hade eesey haan, jannu mhais ki khor mhai nyaar konya

Ar Tau ke sher suna paache ude koi competition nahi hoya.


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Tau:" Ha bahi Roti to Khawega"?
Guest: Haan Tau Roti to khani sain.
Tau: Kitni Roti kha liya kara.
Guest: "Tau Teen".
Tau : "Tu !!! Tu teen roti khawaega, Lagda to nahi.
he replied," Tau do Kha lunga"
Tau : Tu !!! Do roti khawaega, Lagta to nahi.
so replied," Thik Tau to ek he kha lunga
Tau: "Rey Mirar, Kyun ek Roti khatar hath sanwawe ga, Sebere ke faltu kha liye""


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1st Aadmi: Thara Ka Kutta Toh Sher Jisa Lagta sa,
K  Khuwaya karo?

2nd Aadmi: Ye Kameena Sher e sa,
Saala Pyar pyur K Chakkar Me Par Gya Tha
Toh Shakal Kuttay jisi horri sa. .


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Jatt ar ek chori donu kthe bethe the. 

Jatt:tera nam ke hai? 
Chori:meena. ar tera? 
Jatt:kameena. 
Chori:lagda toh koni? 
Jatt: thodi si gel beth ke dekh , aape kahn lagjegi


Ek bai aapne subedar sahab daru ka peg la re the arrr unki ghar aali akhbar bacchann lag ree thi ....bolee 
je dekho akhbar main ke lakh rakhya sai ...ke sharab peena sehat ke liye hanikarak hota hai ....to major 
sab forn bolle...band ....aaj tai e band....to subedarnni bolee aacha jee aaj tai daru band ....to subedar 
sahab bole ....na.... aaj tai yo akhbar band.



ek be ek teli JAAT te bolya
"JAAT re JAAT tere sir pe khaat."
JAAT teli te bolya
"teli re teli tere sir pe kohlu."
teli bolya bhai JAAT ke yo kuch jachya konya
JAAT bolya jachya konya par bojh te maare ga.